Minnesotans love to laugh when a dusting hits, say, Texas, and everyone there slides all over the road and panics. But every year during the first snowfall here, about a third of the people on the Minnesota roads simply FORGET HOW TO DRIVE. It's exasperating.

I would ship you some snow, but the last time I did that the Postmaster General came to my house and made me do 1200 pushups.