The only time I did something similar to that is the '89 quake when I woke up trying to figure out how I'd ended up in a doorway (three cheers for growing up in SoCal!)

Seriously, though, regardless of what everyone else says, I don't think you have any reason to be ashamed of what you did. The muskrat... well, yeah, it should be ashamed, but you're golden. Except for maybe that bit with the eggplant.