Okay, so I'm not shy, but a raving extrovert, so it doesn't map my experience, or anything. But I'm married to an introvert--the panic attacks, the Paxil, the social awkwardness, the whole shy deal--so I know. What I know about shy people is that they take longer to reveal themselves to others--but that often the self, when revealed, is richer and deeper. My shy guy is quiet partly because he's taking things in and then thinking about them much more deeply and subtly than I, as an extrovert focused outward, can ever do (I love that about him). He gets information overload sometimes--he'll be talking to a colleague and focuses down on one interesting thing and starts thinking about it, loses the thread of the conversation, and goes into a panic attack. So he's developed strategies for dealing with these kinds of stressful interactions (like taking an hour to lie down at lunch every day, or not answering the phone during certain hours. And the Paxil helps a lot). For him, going to WisCon would be absolute hell (but then again, WisCon is not his people).
So I suppose that's me mapping indirectly.
And I totally get the "persona." My boss is an academic with this bluff, loud personality (I thought). He told me once he was shy, and I was like, "yeah, right." But he really is shy; he uses the pompous professor thing as both a persona and as a shield. There's a guy with a heart of gold behind it, but finding him is not easy. Took me about six months to figure it out.
Have you read Jed's blog? He's really good at knowing what his social limits are, and seems aware of his need to manage his social interactions so that he doesn't get too burned out.
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Okay, so I'm not shy, but a raving extrovert, so it doesn't map my experience, or anything. But I'm married to an introvert--the panic attacks, the Paxil, the social awkwardness, the whole shy deal--so I know. What I know about shy people is that they take longer to reveal themselves to others--but that often the self, when revealed, is richer and deeper. My shy guy is quiet partly because he's taking things in and then thinking about them much more deeply and subtly than I, as an extrovert focused outward, can ever do (I love that about him). He gets information overload sometimes--he'll be talking to a colleague and focuses down on one interesting thing and starts thinking about it, loses the thread of the conversation, and goes into a panic attack. So he's developed strategies for dealing with these kinds of stressful interactions (like taking an hour to lie down at lunch every day, or not answering the phone during certain hours. And the Paxil helps a lot). For him, going to WisCon would be absolute hell (but then again, WisCon is not his people).
So I suppose that's me mapping indirectly.
And I totally get the "persona." My boss is an academic with this bluff, loud personality (I thought). He told me once he was shy, and I was like, "yeah, right." But he really is shy; he uses the pompous professor thing as both a persona and as a shield. There's a guy with a heart of gold behind it, but finding him is not easy. Took me about six months to figure it out.
Have you read Jed's blog? He's really good at knowing what his social limits are, and seems aware of his need to manage his social interactions so that he doesn't get too burned out.