I mostly assumed you were like me, actually--a part-time extrovert, or something similar.
Sometimes, I'll grant, it's good for me to force myself out and to do something I'm not looking forward to. This is usually when my shyness and my depressive tendencies get tangled up and I can't tell the difference anymore. Then, usually, it's good just to get out and go for a walk, or something. And luckily here in the Twin Cities I do have friends around who will call me up and schedule things, which is really good for me.
But, yes; my panic attack, for instance, was a time when I didn't want to touch, talk to, or make eye contact with anyone around me. Considering that I was tending bar at the time, it was a tough night.
I do NOT think you're insane regarding the twenty-year-old remorse. I do that too--some of them are about thirty years old by now--and I suppose I thought I was the only one :-) Mostly it happens when I'm down, but it'll just hit me randomly sometimes, too. Mostly they don't carry the charge they used to, happily, but it's a weird neurotic thing that you'd think I'd be over by now.
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Sometimes, I'll grant, it's good for me to force myself out and to do something I'm not looking forward to. This is usually when my shyness and my depressive tendencies get tangled up and I can't tell the difference anymore. Then, usually, it's good just to get out and go for a walk, or something. And luckily here in the Twin Cities I do have friends around who will call me up and schedule things, which is really good for me.
But, yes; my panic attack, for instance, was a time when I didn't want to touch, talk to, or make eye contact with anyone around me. Considering that I was tending bar at the time, it was a tough night.
I do NOT think you're insane regarding the twenty-year-old remorse. I do that too--some of them are about thirty years old by now--and I suppose I thought I was the only one :-) Mostly it happens when I'm down, but it'll just hit me randomly sometimes, too. Mostly they don't carry the charge they used to, happily, but it's a weird neurotic thing that you'd think I'd be over by now.