Warren Ellis at Wired:

[snurri]

The arms are for holding your penis during micturition, freeing up your hands for essentials such as operating your mobile phone, doing a lottery scratch card, or frantically waving for someone either to rescue you or kill you.

Comments

[v-verticordia.livejournal.com]

That was brilliant. Thanks for the share!

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

But I don't have a penis! Can I hold someone else's penis?

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see. The ROBOT hands.

dammit.