snurri: (Default)
snurri ([personal profile] snurri) wrote2007-10-01 10:58 am
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Next Time Won't You Let Me Sing With a Frog?

The bad news for anyone named Tom or Matt or Tim or Mitt (I mean, really. Did they name him after the catcher's glove?) is that you no longer exist. No vowels, no M, no T. For that matter, George and Gloria and Hilda and Bertha are all gone. If you're reading this and your name does not exist, just stop it, because you're really freaking me out.

The bad news for us all is that there will be no more SEX, not even for those who mumble. You may S, which is a sort of greasy and sinuous activity which I do not recommend you partake in soon after eating. S may result in a rash of swollen red pustules, if you are doing it right. Please do not scratch at, poke, or puncture the pustules, as eventually the next generation will emerge from them in an agonizing and beautiful process which doctors refer to as "devouring the host."

The battles were hard-fought, but M, T, and X are gone. Only K, S, V, and Z survive. If the Ramones had ever existed, they might have written an alphabet song which went like this:

"K! S! V, Z!/K! S! V, Z!/K! S! V, Z!/K! S! V, Z!"

Then Phil Spector would have added a cello track and used the master tapes for target practice.

Here's a bit of nostalgia from years past, when all the letters were alive and the guy from the Crash Test Dummies was writing a song about them:



NOW THE MAIN EVENT(S)! VOTING IS NOW CLOSED



[Poll #1064196]



Results Wednesday.

[identity profile] rnb.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Mitt Romney was actually named after a relative of his who played quarterback for the Chicago Bears in the 1920s. And any relation to a quarterback for the Bears is bad news.

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
BAD NEWS BEARS GET IT?!?

Hee hee.

[identity profile] rnb.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
As soon as I wrote that, I was like, yeah, someone's going to think I did that on purpose, but I'll be damned if I'm going back to change it.

I'm so lazy.

[identity profile] secritcrush.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I think we know your secrit shame now.

[identity profile] rnb.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't realize it was a secret!

[identity profile] tanaise.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
The fact that you do it on purpose, that was your secret.

[identity profile] rnb.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Is it possible to be accidentally lazy?

[identity profile] mabnyx.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
K, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE LOSING TO A LOUSY ROMAN NUMERAL. PICK IT UP.

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not over yet!

[identity profile] despotliz.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
My name is now Z! That sounds kinda cool. Come on, Z!

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Nice to meet you, Z; I'm V!

SVK, architectural latin for SUCK!

[identity profile] tanaise.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I just want it known that I voted against S AGAIN (two death matches in a row) just so Susan would have to join me in the land of no-first-names.

Re: SVK, architectural latin for SUCK!

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 07:38 pm (UTC)(link)
S is much beloved, you know. After it prevails you will be first against the wall.

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_stranger_here/ 2007-10-01 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
K and Z standing upon a mound of defeated letters. I like this image.

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Far be it from me to harsh on your happy place, but the numbers are trending in the opposite direction . . .

[identity profile] wheatland-press.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
So why *does* the fireman wear red suspenders?

[identity profile] wheatland-press.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Which reminds me of my favorite joke...

This guy calls the fire station and says "Help! Help! My house is on fire!" and The Fireman says, "It's okay! Calm down! We can help you...just tell us how to get there..." The guys says, "Don't you guys still have that big red truck?"

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha! That one took me a second, I have to admit.

[identity profile] msisolak.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm just grateful that eventually I will be down to one letter to teach all my kindergartners, and if the right letter wins, I won't have to work at all to teach the matching lower-case version.

Man, that's a big relief. Teachers everywhere thank you.

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-01 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)
So, pretty much anyone but K, then?

[identity profile] msisolak.livejournal.com 2007-10-02 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Even K is darn close.

Sadly, since M bit the dust, I've found it difficult to care. *sniff* I'm rooting for S, though, because I'll still have somewhat of a name when the battle's over. (No matter WHAT Celia wants.)

[identity profile] hecubot.livejournal.com 2007-10-02 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
If V and S win you'll be left with: vs.

Which is rather poetic for a death match.

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-02 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
I AM SO HOPING FOR THAT.

[identity profile] bondgwendabond.livejournal.com 2007-10-02 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
I reject the death of G.

[identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com 2007-10-02 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
Denial is one of the stages of coping.

[identity profile] bondgwendabond.livejournal.com 2007-10-02 10:59 am (UTC)(link)
Lalalalala, I can't hear you.