OMG People At the Table Next to Me In the Cafe

[snurri]

If you do not stop kissing I will kill ONLY ONE OF YOU and leave the other to suffer forever.

Comments

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

Make sure there is lots of blood and screaming.

[ecmyers.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha! Are you sure they didn't just meet for the first time?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure, because it is the "We are studying except every ten minutes I need to be reassured that your lips are still there 10-20 times in succession" sort of kissing.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Oh, don't worry. This laptop is just heavy enough.

[rnb.livejournal.com]

I think the worst punishment is probably to just let them live and run the course of their relationship. That shit's always doomed anyway, yo.

[gregvaneekhout.livejournal.com]

I bet they'd stop if you tried to kiss them both yourselves.

Or maybe not.

Only one way to find out.

[colonelrowe.livejournal.com]

Your hate can't stop true love old man!

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Dude, you are as bitter as me. I approve.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I suppose it would replace that problem with another one. The police.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I'd be willing to wager otherwise.

[gregvaneekhout.livejournal.com]

Kiss the cops, too.

(Wasn't "Kiss the Police" an NWA b-side?)

[jk-fabiani.livejournal.com]

Spring has sprung.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I think we used to play that game. "Kiss the Cop"? Isn't that where the nightsticks come out?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Among other things.

[jk-fabiani.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! That's teh blunt!

[tim-pratt.livejournal.com]

Actually, I bet if you started loudly critiquing their technique, they'd probably lay off.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Heh. "HOW DOES HER ESOPHAGUS TASTE, ANYWAY? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ORDER THE GIBLETS?"

[ecmyers.livejournal.com]

The way that slaughtering one of them in cold blood won't? :P

[ecmyers.livejournal.com]

YOU SOUND LIKE OWEN MEANY.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

A) I totally love you.

B) Don't do that, they'll just put up a shrine to the dead one and weep loudly. And other people may join in the weeping. (And they may meet someone cute, while weeping, and start a whole new relationship, and before you know it you're a serial killer.)

You need a way to destroy the relationship without making anyone a martyr.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Is that what the kids are calling them these days?

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

In which case I think Ryan's got it right.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Haven't they always?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

It's just that, you know, with the kissing I get all caught up in the moment? And with the killing I tend to just make menacing faces afterward and then disappear into the shadows? I'm like a ninja, or something.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

That sounds like it would take a lot of energy. Killing seems easier.

[jamiam.livejournal.com]

Wow. All of my suggestions involve prison time. And gasoline.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

I was going to suggest yelling at the guy for dumping you for that bitch. Even if it didn't seem believable, you could probably make them uncomfortable enough to leave.

[bondgwendabond.livejournal.com]

Oh, Billy Crystal.

[czakbar.livejournal.com]

Bring a camera with you from now on, and when this happens, start taking pictures. If they get upset with you taking pictures of them, get upset with them for getting in the way of the shot you want of whatever is behind their two-headed monster body.

[secritcrush.livejournal.com]

hee genius.

I was going to suggest barfing noises like a 6 year old would do, but that's much better.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Ouch!

[tacithydra.livejournal.com]

You are both wonderful.

[tacithydra.livejournal.com]

Ninjas get all caught up in kissing moments?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Um. Kissing ninjas do?

[tacithydra.livejournal.com]

No wonder this is a little-heard-of ninja tribe. Clearly not a good ninja survival trait.