Thanks for posting this, Dave. I used to have a real problem with the shyness too, but it's also kind of dissipated over the years. The "I" in my INTP is usually quite high. I used to have the phone sweats and the new people meeting issues and I can't really say they are all gone. I once was so overwhelmed by my fear of public speaking (and only in front of 5, but it was a qualification prove your knowledge board type of situation) that it changed the course of my career. It was the first time just being smart/knowing things wasn't enough to succeed, and because I couldn't present them--could hardly speak at all for the fearful chaos in my head--I failed at something important that I really wanted.
It devestated me, to tell you the truth, and the wound licking went on for some time. Eventually, though I felt like I needed to do something about it or I'd be stuck failing the rest of my life when it came down to social anxiety. I decided to apply the whole INTP strength of "systematizing knowledge" and began forcing myself to study and attack my social anxieties in an almost scientifically experimental fashion. Every year since then I've been kicking it up a notch and forcing myself to get comfortable and feel the control, and the funny thing is, now it's fun.
OR at least when I screw up (I was asked to be emcee at my boss's boss's retirement last month and somehow made the gaff of calling the preacher to the other podium for the benediction and then trying to breeze right along with the next part without letting him give it...heh) I know that it just ain't that bad and more often than not, I'm the worst critic of my social inabilities. The self-criticism and insecurity haven't stopped, but I can deal with them when they arise and overcome without the embarrassment sensation overwhelming me.
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Date: 2007-07-09 11:33 pm (UTC)It devestated me, to tell you the truth, and the wound licking went on for some time. Eventually, though I felt like I needed to do something about it or I'd be stuck failing the rest of my life when it came down to social anxiety. I decided to apply the whole INTP strength of "systematizing knowledge" and began forcing myself to study and attack my social anxieties in an almost scientifically experimental fashion. Every year since then I've been kicking it up a notch and forcing myself to get comfortable and feel the control, and the funny thing is, now it's fun.
OR at least when I screw up (I was asked to be emcee at my boss's boss's retirement last month and somehow made the gaff of calling the preacher to the other podium for the benediction and then trying to breeze right along with the next part without letting him give it...heh) I know that it just ain't that bad and more often than not, I'm the worst critic of my social inabilities. The self-criticism and insecurity haven't stopped, but I can deal with them when they arise and overcome without the embarrassment sensation overwhelming me.