Mumble Herder

Also I am slightly boggled trying to picture Richard Butner as Vivica Fox.

My LiveJournal Sitcom
Living With snurri's professor (ABCFAM, 7:00): snurri (Harry Shearer) tries to seduce textfox (Kate Winslet) at the Eiffel Tower. Then, ninja_pencil (Sophia Loren) nixes st_writes (Timothy Dalton)'s picnic plans. That same day, naomikritzer (Hayley Mills) finds a novel in froggie_spawn (Brad Pitt)'s sock drawer. On the other side of town, dsgood (Roy Rogers) learns a card trick from iamza (Rick Moranis). Meanwhile, giantsloth (Vivica Fox) wipes nomissnewo (Jeff Goldblum)'s laptop. Wackiness ensues.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)

Jan and Haddayr tagged me, so you all get to suffer.

Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world. Get the idea now? Good.

1. The Mary Poppins Soundtrack, Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, et. al. I could have picked any of the Disney LPs, but this is one that I still love, so. Someone gave our family all that stuff when I was young, and it all had my name on it because I was the oldest. "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" taught me to love absurdity.

2. "I Love Trash" b/w "Goin' For a Ride," Oscar the Grouch & Anything People. Later in life I had friends who referred to me as Eeyore, but my true role model was always Oscar.

3. The Muppet Movie Soundtrack. The Muppets were my first fandom, I guess. I don't think I've seen this movie more than once or twice but I was obsessed with the LP. I did all the voices and dreamed of becoming a Muppeteer. Once I brought this in to my 4th grade class, and years later classmates remembered that I had sung along with every word of it.

4. One of Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits Albums. No idea which one, but if I made an effort I could probably name all the songs on it. Mom was a Manilow fan, and this was how us kids spent a lot of our afternoons, listening to her LP of this. It had big hits like "Copacabana" and less-big-hits like "Bermuda Triangle," but we listened to it over and over until I, at least, had it memorized.

5. One of K-Tel's compilation cassettes. I wish I could remember it and find it, but it had Eddie Rabbit's "I Love a Rainy Night," which I thought was the coolest song ever, and something by Rick Springfield, maybe. This marked my first, tentative, movement towards something like rock and roll, which having been raised on AM pop and hippie church music was still a bit frightening to me as a kid.

6. The Police, Ghost in the Machine. I've written about the Police elsewhere, but as an adolescent it was the darker parts of this cassette, about death wishes and alienation, that first hooked me into music in a serious way; first it was because I felt like Sting was describing my life, later it was because I began really listening to the lyrics and the parts -- more Andy's weird un-guitary guitar parts and Stewart's frenetic-but-precise drumming than Sting's I-could-play-that bass parts. I was a band kid, so I was sort of a musician, but I had never really been serious about listening before this.

7. R.E.M., Document. First album by any band that I bought the day it came out. My friend Steve Lang had introduced me to R.E.M., as well as The Cure and Talking Heads; those three and the Police were my favorite bands for a long while to come. Document is where R.E.M. plateaued, in my opinion, but they didn't start down the cliff until sometime on Green. I memorized "It's the End of the World As We Know It" but my favorite song was probably "Oddfellows Local 151" because it was odd and so was I. It was twenty years before I realized that "Strange" was a cover of a Wire song. R.E.M. set me on the indie/college rock track that was my primary musical course for the next decade.

8. Prince, Sign O' the Times. The first album on this list that I still unreservedly love. I'd grown up in the Cities, so I knew Prince, but I knew Radio Prince, which meant "1999" and "Little Red Corvette" and "Raspberry Beret." I knew he was supposed to be a weirdo pervert but not why, really. Sign was not only my true introduction to Prince, but retroactively to James Brown, Sly and the Family Stone, Parliament, Hendrix, Dorothy Parker, Gospel, and Autogynephilia. There are moments on any Prince album that are transcendent, but this one kills me back to front. My favorite stretch starts with "I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man" -- with its out-of-body guitar solo and its "One, two, one, whoo!" -- winds through the spare gospel harmony of "The Cross," and climaxes in the What-a-fucking-party! glee of the live "It's Gonna Be a Beautiful Night." Sheila E.'s Transmississippirap kills me every time.

9. The Beatles, The Beatles (AKA The White Album). Reasonable people disagree on this, but early Beatles does little for me; at the time it may have been groundbreaking, but nowadays it mostly comes across as shallow pop. This album, though, made me laugh ("Rocky Raccoon"), rocked me ("Helter Skelter"), and probably most memorably, scared the shit out of me. I'm thinking of "Revolution 9," which was unlike anything I'd heard to that point and which, listening to it after dark in the basement of my friend Joe's parents' house, had my Catholicism-warped mind half-convinced that some kind of devil shit was going on. Yeah, I was a sheltered kid. But without that track I don't think I'd have been open to, say, Can, or Tom Waits, or the Liars down the road.

10. A Tribe Called Quest, People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm. I could add more of the Native Tongues posse here, but this is the album that hooked into me the most. Fuzzy-funky with a lazy, almost nerdy feel to the lyrics, and some hilarious shit going on in nearly every song. "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo" is still one of my favorite tracks ever; in some ways it maps onto DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's "Parents Just Don't Understand," but instead of being bland and cliched and subtly moralistic it's surreal and spacious and funky. Sometimes I think that, if not for these guys and De La Soul and the Beastie Boys, hip-hop might have missed me altogether.

11. Fishbone, Truth and Soul. Like I said, I was a band kid; one of the things I took from that experience was a love of brass. '80s pop has much to answer for in what it did to the saxophone, but as far as I'm concerned a nice balanced horn section is an automatic win. That, and this album, made me an easy target for ska in all its forms, but most especially aggressive, fast, and slightly unbalanced. Without Fishbone I may not have learned to love the Mighty Mighty Bosstones or the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra, and I damn sure wouldn't have bothered to check out the Skatalites. Besides, I can't listen to "Bonin' In the Boneyard" and be in a bad mood.

12. Old 97s, Wreck Your Life. I was aware of the Old 97s through my friends in the band Junior High, who opened for them in Madison and semi-worshipped them. The first two songs of this album remind me why. It's Ken Bethea's guitar work, yeah, and it's the young-n-earnest of Murry and Rhett's vocals, with their hearts breaking on just about every note, but really it's the lyrics. "Victoria": "This is the story of Victoria's heart/ You might think it's stupid, but I still think it's art./ She lost her lover to an accident at sea/ She pushed him overboard and ended up with me." Then there's murder ballad "The Other Shoe": "One old brown shoe falls in slow motion/ and the bedsprings hover right above your head/ as bedsprings do when you're beneath them/ someone else just climbed into your bed." At the time, I loved this album despite the twang, but it was the first step on a long road to re-discovering country.

13. Johnny Cash, Live at Folsom Prison and San Quentin. Even though I was one of those kids who claimed to like all music "except country and classical," I knew Johnny Cash was cool. I had loved "A Boy Named Sue" as a kid, and, hell, the Beastie Boys had sampled him. When I made the decision to Learn Country Music, Johnny was the first place I went. At first it was the mean edge of songs like "Cocaine Blues" that I loved, but Johnny's sincerity got through to me, too, even on songs that I might otherwise sneer at, like "Greystone Chapel." And of course there's "Jackson" with June, still one of the greatest duets of all time. Like many converts, I became a fanatic and an evangelist, and Johnny led me to other artists; it took a while before I could admit to myself liking, say, Dolly Parton or the Dixie Chicks, but after Johnny it was inevitable.

14. Sarah Harmer, You Were Here. It gets tricky, at this point in the list, to pick out individual albums, because perspective begins to break down. But I don't think I really came out of my indie-kid phase, in terms of that being my primary musical focus, until I learned to love singer-songwriters. My vitriol at Paul Westerberg's early solo stuff, for example, was as much motivated by feeling like he had abandoned some "gang" ethos as it was dislike for his new direction. But partly because of the Man in Black, and maybe because I was learning to be OK with the fact that I was myself a loner, I was becoming more attracted to solo artists. So this could have been Neko Case or Kelly Hogan or Lyle Lovett or Dwight Yoakam, but it's Harmer, because this CD didn't leave my car stereo for months, literally.

15. The New Pornographers, Electric Version. Nowadays when it comes to the indie music I am, by most yardsticks, out of touch. I have never heard a song by Death Cab for Cutie or Arcade Fire, I don't know the Killers from the Strokes, and I didn't even realize the Mendoza Line had broken up. Much like with fiction, I've decided I'm more interested in understanding where things are coming from than in keeping track of the new to figure out where they're going. It pleases me, though, that I have at least one hip "new" band to devote myself to, one that changes keys and time signatures like it changes lanes, one that loves harmony and smart lyrics and doesn't make much of an effort to explain itself. I'm speaking of the band as an entity, which is weird, but their super-group sound is oddly more unified than that of many conventional bands, where the members feel more of a need to assert their own musical thoughts without the release valve of a solo career. The New Pornographers turn the cliche of the rock-star ego on its head in a satisfying way.

I did this over at Facebook, because of all the peer pressure, but since it's taken all my energy for the day I thought I'd post it over here too.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. I'm not tagging anyone, though, because that's how I roll.

1. I wouldn't have done this meme if FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE hadn't tagged me for it. I guess people are really, really, really interested in me, which is either heartwarming or disturbing, I'm not sure which.
2. I eat the same thing almost every morning: oatmeal, an English muffin with hummus, V8 juice, a banana and a big gulpin' cup of tea.
3. I'm kind of utilitarian when it comes to food I prepare for myself. My main criteria are that it is a) relatively healthy and b) easy to make. This week I stretched two nights of cooking into eight meals. Leftovers rule!
4. I don't like to socialize over lunch at a workplace. Sometimes I worry that people will take offense at this, but mostly I don't care. I would rather read my book.
5. I used to read about twice as fast as I do now. On the other hand, I used to read the same books over and over, and probably comprehended only about half of them.
6. I can't write without music, but I can't read with it.
7. I really hate the words "dork," "geek," and "nerd." I know there's a movement to "reclaim" these words, but they still carry a painful emotional charge for me that's wired back to junior high. Just to prove that I'm a hypocrite, I use those words sometimes, although I try not to.
8. There is almost no book or film that I love that I can't pick apart and find something wrong with. I suspect that this makes it seem as though I don't really like anything, but I think it's just hard for me to switch off my inner critic.
9. It's hard for me to switch off my inner anything. I feel like my brain is in overdrive about 90% of the time. Most of this energy is spent in worrying.
10. I have spent so much time trying to learn about so many things that I don't feel like I know enough about any of them.
11. I hate to dress up. For me, "dressing up" encompasses: pants other than jeans, shirts with buttons, and shoes other than Chuck Taylors or sandals.
12. If I had three wishes I would wish I. to be fluent and literate in every language ever known to humanity, II. to be a virtuoso-level player on every musical instrument, and III. to be a master of every martial art. I don't know what kind of work that would qualify me for, but I'd be fun at parties. (I have a fourth wish, but I'm not telling you what it is.)
13. I like to listen to NPR during the day, but I can't stand the voice of the host of the local Midmorning show and I have to turn it off. I had the same problem when Katherine Lanpher was the host.
14. I'd be up for living in a trailer park, and not just because I have a crush on Jaye from Wonderfalls.
15. I am sometimes the living cliché of the moody and temperamental artist, and I find this incredibly annoying.
16. I never experimented with hallucinogenic drugs, and I think perhaps I should.
17. I went to college right after high school only because all my classmates seemed to know what they were going to do with their lives and almost all of them were going to college. If I could do it over I'd take a couple of years off, make some money, and travel.
18. The only thing I ever really wanted was to get a book published, and now that I've done that I'm having trouble figuring out what's next.
19. I once had a genuine but genuinely mundane psychic experience, in which I heard a phone call between two co-workers who were well out of my earshot in my head as it was happening. It was simultaneously one of the most freakish and insignificant experiences of my life.
20. I used to know how to play the guitar, but somehow I can't manage to re-learn it now.
21. Sometimes I think about becoming a voice-over artist. I have no idea how one would go about doing this.
22. I am really, really worried about the economy, and the environment, and lately I think a lot about moving up to my grandparents' old farm (the part we still own) and learning to raise chickens or something. Plant apple trees. Definitely have some dogs.
23. I really like to swear. The feel of swearing is very satisfying in my mouth. Cathartic.
24. I sometimes think about moving to Argentina. My Spanish is pretty basic, though.
25. It took me an hour to write this.

The NYT is estimating that more than 250 people have died in the rioting; the AP puts the total at 300. I really love this story I'm working on. Didja ever write something that made you so uncomfortable with your own brain that you had to physically move away from the manuscript in order to rid yourself of the wiggins? Today marks the release of Paper Cities, An Anthology of Urban Fantasy, with stories by (deep breath): Forrest Aguirre, Barth Anderson, Steve Berman, Darin Bradley, Stephanie Campisi, Hal Duncan, Mike Jasper, Vylar Kaftan, Jay Lake, Paul Meloy, Richard Parks, Ben Peek, Cat Rambo, Jenn Reese, David Schwartz, Cat Sparks, Anna Tambour, Mark Teppo, Catherynne M. Valente, Greg van Eekhout, and Kaaron Warren. I got this email from myself of a year ago April today, courtesy of FutureMe. Via several folks: What were you doing five years ago? My mom saw the sticker on my laptop, of a pink elephant wearing sunglasses, and asked why I had it. On a few occasions recently I've found the idea of going back to school for another degree wandering through my head, upon which I have pounded said head against the nearest brick surface. Greenwald has more on the story. When you say "Main Street" and "Wall Street" in the same sentence, you buy the next round. Went to the Turf Club tonight, and sat through one shitty kiddy band that thought they were the Strokes and one searing noise band that wasn't too bad. How good is my "Proof of Zero" from Spicy Slipstream Stories?

I only have four things. But since I have fancied them up with Roman numerals I expect to hear no complaints.

I. I am informed that my story, "Bear In Contradicting Landscape," will appear in Polyphony 7, which will be out in the fall. W00t! This is a story that I am both proud of and self-conscious of, so I will be interested to see the response.

II. Hayden tagged me for this, and since Hayden is much cooler than me (and I haven't acquired any new music in months), I have no expectations that my list will be as interesting as his. But I do what I'm told. Here's the sitch:

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.

( Music geekery behind the cut . . . )

I have to tag people? OK. Alice, Celia, Hecubus, Jan, Karen, Meghan, and Richard. Play along if you like.

III. A Norwegian Zoo has put a 24-hour live webfeed in the pen of a lioness who recently had three cubs. WARNING: Cuteness ahead! (Right now they're all sleeping.)

IV. I don't usually subject y'all to political spots, but I like this one, where John Cusack asks if you can tell the difference between McCain and Bush.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Running on the plains, attacking with a reflective halberd, cometh Snurri! And he gives a low roar: "I'm going to hack into your brain, and type FORMAT C: !!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Via chestervhe.

Via Gwenda, Meghan, Deborah, Richard . . .

1. Where is your mobile phone? Desk
2. Your significant other? Imagination
3. Your hair? Annoying
4. Your mother? Country
5. Your father? City
6. Your favorite thing? Story
7. Your dream last night? Forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? Stout
9. Your dream/goal? Contentment
10. The room you're in? Living
11. Your ex? History
12. Your fear? Dementia
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? There
14. Where were you last night? Haddayr's
15. What you're not? Effusive
16. Muffins? Corn
17. One of your wish list items? Dog
18. Where you grew up? Midwest
19. The last thing you did? Walked
20. What are you wearing? Slippers
21. Your TV? Stewart
22. Your pets? Missed
23. Your computer? Noisy
24. Your life? Pending
25. Your mood? Wintry
26. Missing someone? Always
27. Your car? Nope
28. Something you're not wearing? Lipstick
29. Favorite Store? Book
30. Your summer? Pending
31. Like someone? Hmm
32. Your favorite color? Red
33. When is the last time you laughed? Dog
34. Last time you cried? Austen

It just feels like that kind of a day, so here you go. (via iamza)

Meme rules:
1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions to make/confirm your guesses. Totally cheating, you dirty cheaters.

1. "Just for tonight, we are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I'm flexible." ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, as pointed out by infinitehotel.

2. "He won't listen to anybody. He's been very crazy all summer. Since June he's been trying to kill me." DOG DAY AFTERNOON, as pointed out by mastadge.

3. "I'm saying that this whole thing is a farce, because in the end, after you've killed and captured every freak out there, there's still one left: you." HELLBOY, as pointed out by the_flea_king.

4. "Some men get the world. Others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona." L.A. CONFIDENTIAL, as pointed out by ilovehpl.

5. "Have you got a cop called Vodka?" HARD BOILED, as pointed out by veejane.

6. "Until I get back my five thousand dollars, you're gonna get more than you bargained for. I'm your goddamn partner." RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, as pointed out by stephanieburgis.

7. "Also, you'll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs under your seats. Please feel free to use them." RUSHMORE, as pointed out by veejane.

8. "I'm not some old man! Or a wounded prisoner! Motherfucker . . . Don't you dare touch the girl. You won't be the first pig I've gutted!" PAN'S LABYRINTH, as pointed out by o_kiki.

9. "Your only mistake is that you didn't dump her first. [REDACTED] is a show pony. You need a stallion, my friend. Walk with us and you walk tall." SAY ANYTHING, as pointed out by infinitehotel.

10. "Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?" LOST IN TRANSLATION, as pointed out by the_flea_king.

11. "Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's *not* a genius? Do you especially think I'm *not* a genius? . . . You didn't even have to think about it, did you?" THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS, as pointed out by mrdankelly.

12. "Then let's head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch." EVIL DEAD II: DEAD BY DAWN, as pointed out by ecmyers. (You ALL should have gotten this one.)

13. "I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed." THE PRINCESS BRIDE, as pointed out by infinitehotel

14. "First, I'll have a bath. Then I'll be shaved by a Turkish barber who will massage me down to the fingertips. Then I'll buy a newspaper and read it from headlines to horoscope. On the first day, I'll be waited upon... For requests, ask the neighbor. If someone stumbles over my legs, he'll have to apologize. I'll be pushed around, and I'll push back. In the crowded bar, the bartender will find me a table. A service car will stop, and the mayor will take me aboard. I'll be known to everyone, and suspect to no one. I won't say a word, and will understand every language. That will be my first day." WINGS OF DESIRE, as pointed out by mastadge.

15. "Okay. But, I'm saying, it's like, I don't want to cram in sex or guns or car chases, you know . . . or characters, you know, learning profound life lessons or growing or coming to like each other or overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end, you know. I mean . . . the book isn't like that, and life isn't like that. You know, it just isn't. And . . . I feel very strongly about this." ADAPTATION, as pointed out by infinitehotel

Haiku2 for snurri
and the sticks hitting the ice reflected streets of cozy little houses
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