Rise of the Underpeople

[snurri]

Meet Cinder, the Naked Chimp. Not CHEF! Chimp.

Black bears, with bonus pic of cub-in-a-sock. (Via ocvictor.)

The Improbable Octophant. I find this a bit disturbing, I have to admit. (See also the very moving "Squid Can't Win".) (Via Superagent Shana.)

For extra credit, nominate your preferred animal overlord in the comments. Monday there will be a poll. MAKE AN ARGUMENT PEOPLE.

Comments

[jocelina.livejournal.com]

I would like to be ruled by the bear cub in the sock, please. LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE!

If that is not possible, then I nominate my parents' badly behaved Australian shepherds. One could be the benevolent dictator, and his brother could be responsible for behind-the-scenes assassinations and whatnot.

My third choice would be dolphins. They'd probably do a bang-up job.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

What if he grows up? Or gets out of the sock? Where will your Sock-President Baby Bear be then, HUH?!?

I wonder if all dogs are going around assassinating folks while their owners are out. Like, the whole I'm-so-excited-to-see-you-no-I-wasn't-on-the-couch thing, could that be an act? I think . . . yes.

Dolphins would be so busy bangin' each other that they'd forget about doing a bang-up job.

Kinda like humans, now that I think about it.

[silk-noir.livejournal.com]

Someone should get Greg Van E that squid.

I nominate river otters. They know how to have a good time.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Either Greg or Jeff VanderMeer, yeah. Or both!

River otters should rule the world because they know how to have a good time? Why don't you just nominate the guys from that Entourage show, then?!?

[silk-noir.livejournal.com]

Okay--

River otters are aesthetically pleasing (which takes the entourgae guys right out),and understand that the pain of the biological whip of that cosmic tyrant, DNA, can be mitigated by cuddles, snuggles, romps, and water slides. River otters understand there's more to life than territory, eating, and fucking, which puts them waaayyyy ahead of many possible overlords.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Good argument. Your nomination is recorded.

[v-verticordia.livejournal.com]

All bow to the Octo-parrot! Rawk!! Poly shouldn't be!!!

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Terrifying. Tell me more.

[v-verticordia.livejournal.com]

Haven't you seen that episode of the Simpsons?? It's the one where Homer has a crayon stuck in his brain! The Octo-parrot is a parrot w/ tenticles that lives in the lab where they took out the crayon!

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I knew it was going to be some pop-culture thing that I was going to rue not knowing. I used to be a big Simpsons fan, but after 8 or 9 seasons I drifted away.

I want to caution you not to be seduced by Octo-parrot's oratory skills. Just because someone makes you feel hopeful doesn't mean they'll be a good leader. EXPERIENCE COUNTS.

You should really consider nominating a dinosaur instead.

[wheatland-press.livejournal.com]

So They sent you ahead to make us "think" we have a "choice," did they?

Oh, okay. I'll "play" along.

Gee, what should it be? Animal overlord...animal overlord...oh, I know, how about...a cat. Don't know "what" made me think of that. Intelligence, beauty, grace, moral superiority...they do seem to have it all, don't they?

Is there something you'd like to tell us, Deb?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Are you a cat?

Re: Is there something you'd like to tell us, Deb?

[wheatland-press.livejournal.com]

Moi?

Re: Is there something you'd like to tell us, Deb?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Eddie's nose never lies.

[used_songs]

Octopus dofleini. Intelligent. Ruthless enough to be effective. Relatively short lived so that an individual Giant Pacific Octopus' dictatorial reign would be short. Can camouflage itself like nobody's business.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Is it inky?

[used_songs]

Yes. And it can kill and eat sharks. :)

[snurri.livejournal.com]

DUDE. Reason enough, right there.