I'm just too square for SF fandom, what with my ability to recognize the glory of my own breasts without having them pawed by creeps.
Not that there is anything wrong with a little consensual breast- or butt-touching, and if it makes people feel good about themselves, that's awesome. But I find the way he characterizes the whole thing and, more importantly, the way he characterizes his role in it, kind of revolting. "And lo, the women were then confident in themselves because I deemed their breasts worthy of touching. All hail me!"
It's completely revolting. His off-hand remarks in the subsequent posts are almost the worst; the part where he plays the "my-wife-feels-objectified-by-society-too!" card to establish his feminist cred, and THEN suggests that those who are bothered by the "GROPE AT WILL" project should go to WisCon, which is made just for prudes like them.
GAH I haven't been this pissed at the Internets in a while.
Because they reject your norms! They are re-engineering society to better recognize the rights of guys who didn't get laid enough when they were in their sexual prime!
It's all the women claiming that the groping was entirely consensual and mostly woman-on-woman that confuses me. It's easy for me to formulate a response to the guys rhapsodizing about the pleasures of a boob-grabbing free-for-all... but I'm really reluctant to just dismiss so many women as simply desperate for attention.
(And then there's Haddayr's point that this could easily lead to an assault. Oy.)
The issue of the women involved may be a little more complicated, but my concern is that--intentionally or not--guys in fandom are still controlling con spaces in a manner that creates discomfort among many women. I'm particularly annoyed by one of this jackass's follow-up posts, where he notes that if the "project" makes you feel unsafe then perhaps you should check out WisCon. Because apparently it is WisCon's responsibility alone to provide a place for women in the genre not to be objectified or threatened.
See, that's exactly why I hate this kind of shit. It discourages potential female fans from attending cons, because it implies that they won't be safe. I think that's untrue in most cases, but there is a certain arrested-adolescence segment of fandom that simply has no clue . . .
I have to say, when I saw someone ask him if he was going to be at CONvergence, I winced. Then I forgot to expand the comments to see if he actually is going to be there.
I have to say, when I saw someone ask him if he was going to be at CONvergence, I winced.
Same here. The thought of something like that infiltrating CVG makes me recoil, as CVG is currently one of the most gender-fair conventions I've ever attended (without specifically branding itself "feminist").
I briefly considered making buttons that said, "If you ask to grope me, I will not ask before I stab you in the face," but the phrase didn't seem catchy. Then again, I shouldn't have to wear something like that, period.
(Apologies to Snurri for invading. I got here via the flurry of links.)
I was surfing for hours just on the links and links-to-links from various feminist blogs talking about the whole situation. At least one appreciated the simplicity of your comment. (I can't remember which, though.)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 06:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 06:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 07:05 pm (UTC)Now that gives ME an idea . . .
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 07:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:03 am (UTC)(No, not really.)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 07:08 pm (UTC)Just reading that guy's LJ entry about it made me feel dirty and angry.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:39 am (UTC)Not that there is anything wrong with a little consensual breast- or butt-touching, and if it makes people feel good about themselves, that's awesome. But I find the way he characterizes the whole thing and, more importantly, the way he characterizes his role in it, kind of revolting. "And lo, the women were then confident in themselves because I deemed their breasts worthy of touching. All hail me!"
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:46 am (UTC)GAH I haven't been this pissed at the Internets in a while.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:50 am (UTC)That made me laugh. Do you think he has black friends?
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 07:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 07:58 pm (UTC)(And then there's Haddayr's point that this could easily lead to an assault. Oy.)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:12 am (UTC)Fuck. Him.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:35 am (UTC)I'm reminded of those women-safe buses in Mexico city.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-22 10:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-04-23 04:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 07:12 pm (UTC)Same here. The thought of something like that infiltrating CVG makes me recoil, as CVG is currently one of the most gender-fair conventions I've ever attended (without specifically branding itself "feminist").
I briefly considered making buttons that said, "If you ask to grope me, I will not ask before I stab you in the face," but the phrase didn't seem catchy. Then again, I shouldn't have to wear something like that, period.
(Apologies to Snurri for invading. I got here via the flurry of links.)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 07:30 pm (UTC)No need to apologize, nor does a comment constitute an invasion. Stop by anytime! (Wait, there was a flurry of links? To here?)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-28 06:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 12:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 03:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 10:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 11:00 am (UTC)NO YOU MAY NOT ASK TO TOUCH MY BOOBS
ALSO IF I CATCH YOU HARASSING OTHER WOMEN HERE
I WILL STAB YOU. I AM NOT KIDDING
-- or similar -- would go over well.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-23 09:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-24 04:14 am (UTC)