Lancaster Bridge

Lancaster Bridge
Originally uploaded by Snurri.

"The fact that the riverside neighborhoods are among the most stable and prosperous of the city post-Exile is often explained away by those who think water access and trade are the only important factors, but in truth it is in large part due to the efforts of the Lancaster Bridge Troll. The LBT, as he is known (the trolls as a group have been adamant about not revealing their true names) was living a life of quiet solitude when the Exile occurred; like his fellows, he had moved in at the time of his bridge's construction but chose not to harrass the motorcar. ('It's one thing to demand a toll of a lone pedestrian, and quite another to face down a Mack truck,' he has said.) Instead he spent his days secreted beneath the bridge, enjoying his vast library and living primarily off of Kodiak dipping tobacco. (The source of the trolls' tobacco, which is still delivered regularly, remains mysterious.) . . . Soon after the Exile the LBT noticed the lack of traffic; upon investigating, he discovered a group of schoolchildren playing unsupervised on the bridge, and cars standing still and abandoned for their lack of gas. The children fled when they saw the troll, but returned to watch as he tossed a handful of glittering powder up to observe its fall, summoned a passing pigeon to converse with, and then began carrying the derelict automobiles off the bridge. He carefully lined them up along the empty streets, and when one of the children came near enough, he asked why they were not in school. . . . By the next morning hand-painted signs in neat calligraphic script hung at either end of the bridge, advertising classes in French, Russian, mathematics and etiquette. (The LBT has since demonstrated fluency in some two dozen languages, but he admits that he soft-pedaled his qualifications at first. 'People tend to suspect trolls of trickery towards the ends of eating them,' he once observed to the author. 'Certainly in my day I have eaten my fair share of humans, but I have been a vegetarian since 1846.') Citizens were wary of the large, snaggle-toothed creature who sat at the middle of the bridge, reading Proust through a pair of bifocals. Eventually a group of parents came to meet with the LBT and were won over by his civilized (if gruff) manner as well as his macadamia nut cookies. . . . At this writing the Lancaster Bridge School has expanded to address most standard subjects, the LBT having taken on assistants specializing in everything from self-defense to physics and calculus. The other bridge trolls have set up their own competing schools, and the range of specialities has created a magnet school system of sorts. Lancaster Bridge is known first and foremost for its linguistics and higher mathematics, while the Cagliari Street Bridge Troll (CSBT) is expert in botany, chemistry, and glass blowing. Other schools specialize in jazz music, animal husbandry, and bicycle repair. . . . Most parents are happy to trust their children to what were once considered monsters, though some confess to a distaste for the trollish fondness for chewing tobacco. . . . Over the years the LBT has expanded his enterprise to include both a lending library and a home for children orphaned by the city's intermittent disasters. His bridge, like the others in the city, still has space set aside for those wishing to cross it; the tolls, these days, go towards the purchase of food, books, and other supplies for the students." (p.291-2)