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Introductory statement of existing situation, with supporting evidence. Outlandish claim of costs of said situation, running into the billions. Anecdotal claim of efforts to address said situation. "Quote from person involved," representing nonexistent but plausible governmental or scientific organization, "until recently stymied by intractability of challenges inherent in bettering situation." Dramatic but enigmatic assertion that everything is about to change.
Outrageous claim of either a) dubious scientific merit, b) questionable morals, or c) both. Repeated assertion that this will change everything. Made-up name(s) of person or persons (possibly with in-joke reference to cult film or television series) responsible for breakthrough in thinking, and description of feelings of self-pride and/or self-awe accompanying discovery. "Humble yet self-aggrandizing quote," from Person A. "Acknowledgment of scientific impossibility or moral repugnance of discovery, with perfunctory dismissal. Explanation that aforesaid objections were just old thinking, and this marks the step towards a brave new world, without allusion to or even awareness of Aldous Huxley."
Vague promise of production or implementation at some point in future. Brief mention of invasive prerequisites necessary for average citizens to take advantage, with sticker price of 5-10 figures. Further in-joke reference in hopes of alerting savvy readers to prank, followed by ejaculatory blurt of excitement, anticipating acquisition of exciting breakthrough of very own!
Outrageous claim of either a) dubious scientific merit, b) questionable morals, or c) both. Repeated assertion that this will change everything. Made-up name(s) of person or persons (possibly with in-joke reference to cult film or television series) responsible for breakthrough in thinking, and description of feelings of self-pride and/or self-awe accompanying discovery. "Humble yet self-aggrandizing quote," from Person A. "Acknowledgment of scientific impossibility or moral repugnance of discovery, with perfunctory dismissal. Explanation that aforesaid objections were just old thinking, and this marks the step towards a brave new world, without allusion to or even awareness of Aldous Huxley."
Vague promise of production or implementation at some point in future. Brief mention of invasive prerequisites necessary for average citizens to take advantage, with sticker price of 5-10 figures. Further in-joke reference in hopes of alerting savvy readers to prank, followed by ejaculatory blurt of excitement, anticipating acquisition of exciting breakthrough of very own!