In Which I Am a Scary Movie Wuss

[snurri]

I think it's time that I admit to myself that I don't enjoy horror movies.

The problem with that statement, of course, is that "horror" is too imprecise a term. Is "Alien" horror? Is "Evil Dead 2," or "Scream"? Is "Silence of the Lambs," or even "The Talented Mr. Ripley"? I enjoy all of those films. But ED2 and "Scream" are really comedies, and the latter two lack the unpredictability of a supernatural or SF element. I'm not sure why "Alien" is an exception for me--maybe because I've seen it enough times now that I don't get tense watching it.

'Cause that's primarily the trouble. Scary movies make me tense and worried, and I don't enjoy that. That's more or less my default setting, anyway, and these films just make it worse. I like suspense, but I don't like going into a film knowing that people are going to get splattered and just waiting for it to happen. (And yet I'm not nearly as bothered by shoot-em-up flicks, so go figure.) There's also the fact that a lot of horror movies rely on slimy, oozy, dripping things, and I dislike those things enough that I'm always worried I'm going to puke. I haven't, to date--the closest I came was after the bit in "RoboCop" (not a horror movie) where the guy gets the barrel of toxic waste dumped over him and then splashes apart when the car hits him--but I'm always sitting there worrying that this is going to be the one that makes me hurl.

I watched "Slither" the other night, and it's a great movie, really funny, smart, excellent cast, really well done. But I didn't really enjoy it. I couldn't relax. Slugs, people. Ish. I spent the whole time clenched up on the edge of the couch. It was the same with "The Descent" (except for the slugs), which is objectively an incredible film, and one that I don't think I'd ever watch again. (The fact that I'm mildly claustrophobic may have something to do with this.) These are both good horror movies, I think, and I failed to get much enjoyment out of them. I think they're good, though, because they had me scared; the horror movies that don't scare me mostly feel like a waste of my time. That's how I felt about "The Ring" (the Japanese original), which I saw recently; I was intrigued, and mildly creeped out at the end, but ultimately felt like there wasn't much point to it. The only exception that's coming to mind right now is "Let the Right One In" (the original Swedish version), which was a well-made horror film that I really enjoyed and would definitely watch again. It's pretty up-front about what it is, though, and it's not gross (I guess movie blood doesn't bother me much). Again, I don't know how useful a term "horror" really is.

Maybe this is like Lovecraft; they say that if you read him at around age 14 you'll be a fan of his forever, and if you miss that window you'll never get it. I didn't read Lovecraft until my 20s, and I must have missed my window for horror flicks, too; I guess I was about 12 when I got too scared by "An American Werewolf in London" to watch the whole thing, and I kind of missed that whole '80s horror boom. I went back to watch some of them later--I sort of like "Halloween," because it's a really technically smart film--but most of them do nothing for me except wind me up and leave me wondering what the point is.

I guess the reason I care is that my experiences with "Slither" and "The Descent" are proof that there are really good horror movies of that type, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to enjoy them. Maybe if I got really drunk? That would seem to increase the danger of puking, though. Do y'all enjoy being scared by these things? Do I just need to medicate, or what?

Comments

[rarelylynne.livejournal.com]

You're not alone. I don't do horror scarier than Sleepy Hollow, with the exception of the Evil Dead and Shaun of the Dead films, because they are comedy-horror.

I saw Alien once. Never again.
Ditto for The Shining.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I thought "The Shining" was pretty boring (I had the same reaction to "The Exorcist"), but part of what's weird about this is how idiosyncratic being scared is; I've had people react with incredulity that I was scared by "An American Werewolf in London," of all films.

Big ups for "Shaun of the Dead," though, especially the first half.

[rnb.livejournal.com]

Sigh. I'm kind of in the same boat as you (although more because I find horror movies dull), except that you just named the two horror movies that I really, really love (Shining/Exorcist). I saw both of them when I was very young, though, so maybe it's just part of my DNA now. I don't really think either of them are scary, but they're both just great movies.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

It's possible that in both cases I wasn't able to put aside my horror-film anxiety entirely. It's been years since I saw "The Exorcist," but there were elements of "The Shining" that I really liked; the problem is that I didn't really care for either of the principal actors all that much.

[janradder.livejournal.com]

Being a big fan of horror films myself, I've never ever understood the appeal of "The Shining." I agree, it's incredibly boring and everything is so obvious. To me, that feeling you hate when you watch horror movies -- being tense and uncomfortable and nervous and all the rest -- is what I look for, and if a horror film is done right, that's the feeling it should give viewers (at least in that type of horror film of which "The Shining hopes to be a part of). "The Shining" never does that. When I've watched it I feel like Stanley Kubrick is there going, "Ooh, look -- isn't this scary? ARen't you scared? Oh look, this is really, really creepy -- scary, isn't it?" and that's not scary. I think he tried to make a horror movie without knowing what a horror movie is.

[orbitalmechanic.livejournal.com]

It took me three times to watch Alien! Finally I had to for a class I was teaching, and I watched it with a friend, in her brightly lit sewing room, in the middle of the afternoon on a sunny day, and we talked most of the time.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

What about "Aliens"? I'm curious, 'cause that has very few of the horror elements of the original; it's basically an action flick.

[orbitalmechanic.livejournal.com]

My aunt took me to see Aliens when I was ten, and I had a HUGE fear of spiders and we left in the middle and I had nightmares for two weeks. So, uh, I haven't tried it since then! Maybe I would love it! I have a high tolerance for unsurprising gore.

[livia-llewellyn.livejournal.com]

But, it's an action flick with some indescribably painful moments of suspense. You know what the aliens look like and how they'll behave, but still - I've watched the film at least 20 times and I still get terribly nervous and distressed during the fights and chase scenes. I'm not saying you shouldn't see it, just that you shouldn't expect it to be a stress-free experience.

Also - if RoboCop made you nauseous, you can never, EVER see Cronenberg's remake of The Fly. You will barf and pass out, maybe all at once. I'm serious.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Oof. (Crosses "The Fly" off list.)

Yeah, "Aliens" is tense. Still, most everybody is carrying guns, so most of the time I don't get too worried about them :-)

[livia-llewellyn.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, anyone with a gun is safe. Totally safe. No worries there.

[::giggles::]

[janradder.livejournal.com]

DOn't cross "The Fly" off your list -- it's a horror movie in the same vein as "Let the Right One In." In essence, it's a tragic love story, and one of the best horror flicks of the 80's (in my opinion).

[10yroldwhizkid.livejournal.com]

I hate watching scary movies but I love reading the plot summaries on wikipedia, especially with the really crazy Asian horror films. I'm not sure why. I can't handle the visuals but I get sooooooo curious.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm glad I saw "The Ring," but more for the cultural literacy bit than because I enjoyed it. I could have just gone to Wikipedia instead!

[mekkavandexter.livejournal.com]

I watch a lot of horror movies and I have no idea why. And most of them are boring and mistake gore for suspense.

"Jaws" and "The Wizard of Oz", however, scare the pants off of me.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

"Jaws" is so great. One of the few decent Spielberg films, IMO.

I was never too scared by "The Wizard of Oz," but "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" scared the hell out of me as a kid and still gives me a major case of the creeps.

[mythusmage.livejournal.com]

It's good that you're horrified by most horror flicks, you're supposed to be horrified by a horror flick. For a really disquieting time here's one I saw just last night, Let Me In about a 12 year old vampire and her search for a new Renfield when her old one starts falling apart.

"I'm 12, but I've been 12 for a really long time."

Not an urban fantasy vampire, or a romantic fantasy vampire, this lass is dangerous. But mostly the horror comes from the implications of the situation. It's a layered film with tons of nuance.

Just thought I'd help you become even more disturbed at what the world can pull on us. :)

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's the American remake of the Swedish film I mentioned in the post. I doubt I'll see it, because the original was excellent and I'd probably just get annoyed.

[kingrat]

Scary movies make me tense and worried, and I don't enjoy that.

I totally agree.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

RESOLVED: We need to relax! :-)

[kingrat]

From now on, only relaxing things like home movies of Snoop Dogg smoking dope for 90 minutes! It doesn't get any more mellow than that!

[elizabethth.livejournal.com]

I'm a total wuss about scary stuff. I was creeped out by Coraline, a book that is loved by children the world over. I am still creeped out by a Lovecraft story I read in my teens. (If there is nameless dreadful horror, it should be thoroughly destroyed by the end of the story, not still lurking out there in the woods, dammit!) I have a friend who claimed permanent hearing loss after sitting next to me at Alien. Also, the chest-bursting scene replayed itself in technicolor every time I closed my eyes for the next two days.

Entertainment should be enjoyable. There's nothing wrong with skipping stuff that makes you uncomfortable. At the store, people sometimes try to convince me to read something scary. I just tell them nope, I find real life plenty scary, and I read to get away from that!

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I think I'm not as bothered by horror literature, although that can creep me out at times. But I can always just put the book down :-)

And you're completely right that we should read what we enjoy. I like to push myself out of my comfort zone, though, and I've found stuff I enjoy out there.

[elizabethth.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. Scary movies, no. Both in the creeping dread sense, and in the gruesome visuals sense. They just stick in my head too much. And, like you, I don't enjoy feeling tense and worried.

Scary books or stories, I'm willing, but there has to be something besides scary to them. Christopher Fowler's Peculiar Crimes Unit mysteries have horrific murders, described in loving detail, but those are surrounded by one of my all-time favorite crime-solving teams and the lore and history of the city of London. Tanya Huff and Mike Carey both write urban fantasy with horrific elements, but with interesting characters and a sense of humor.

And I like the resolution to leave me feeling relaxed, not apprehensive.

[shaolingrrl.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're really missing out on too much by not liking horror movies. There are some really good horror movies (I think) but there are so many movies, you could watch all you want and never have time to see them all.

The one that typifies what I'm glad I saw but will never watch again is Oldboy.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Well, that's kind of a good example, because I really loved Oldboy and I think I'd have missed out if I hadn't seen it; I'd watch it again, too. (Although I don't see that as horror, really.) Not trying to argue with your reaction at all, just saying this is exactly why I'm conflicted about this.

[shaolingrrl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think you're right. Even with saying "there are good horror movies" I'm not according the best of them much respect as good movies first and horror movies second. Cartoon body count I'm okay with, but realistic cruelty--I just don't want to see it. I'm a wuss that way.

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

I always think I can handle 'em, and then for at least three months I wake up poor, long-suffering Jan and make him come with me when I have to pee in the middle of the night.

Because the blob might get me.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I'm able to forget about these things as soon as the movie's over, usually--although I didn't sleep great the night after I watched "Slither," so perhaps I had nightmares that I don't recall. "The Blair Witch Project" did make me wary of the woods at night for a while, though.

[cofax7]

Oh, yes. I love apocalypses, but I could only watch 28 Days Later with some pretty serious use of the fastforward button, because the suspense plus the gore/violence was too much for me.

I've discovered that while I enjoy thrillers (Die Hard and so forth), I don't like suspense films, and horror movies tend to be suspense films rather than thrillers. The tension gets me all wound up, and then so often it's not released in a good way, but in a terrifying way. Makes me unhappy.

It took me years to realize that I could enjoy Terminator because it was a thriller rather than a horror flick.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

The way I deal with zombie movies, generally, is by very consciously deciding not to get emotionally invested in anyone, because they are all basically fair game. But I'm pretty damned tired of zombies at this point. (Blasphemy, I know!)

I love "Die Hard." Such a great movie.

[hecubot.livejournal.com]

Emmett's like you; he doesn't enjoy the suspense in horror films. Just not pleasurable to him.

I'm writing a piece on early sixties horror movies, specifically The Haunting, The Innocents, Carnival of Souls, Night Tide & Eyes Without a Face. I'll also touch on several other key horror movies from '60-'63: Black Sunday (Bava), Brides of Dracula (Hammer), Psycho, Haunted Palace (Corman/Vincent Price), Fall of the House of Usher (Corman/Price/Poe) and Burn, Witch Burn (based on Fritz Leiber's Conjure Wife).

But the movies I'm focusing on constitute a different tradition. Stephen King specifically cites The Haunting as a movie which deals in Terror instead of Horror (which by his taxonomy involves something disquieting happening to the physical body) or Revulsion (aka, The Gross Out).

All of the movies I'm looking at derive from a combination of Val Lewton's RKO films (Cat People etc.), Cocteau's surreal dream films and the psychological ghost story of "The Turn of the Screw" (The Innocents is an adaptation of the Henry James.)

They're also very much about female identity, the fear (and also attraction) of losing one's self. (I'm thinking of titling it: "I, Without a Face.")