Mumble Herder

Thanks for posting this. I recognized so much as I read it - shyness has been a major problem for me since I was a kid, and one of the achievements I've been most proud of as an adult is the sheer ability to speak voluntarily to strangers at all, which I couldn't manage as a teenager, even to the extent of phoning up for a pizza to be delivered. I love hanging out with friends in small groups, I love talking one on one, and I hate being alone for too much of my life...but I hate, hate, hate large parties and too-large groups of people, which has created problems for me at various points in my life. In both undergrad and grad school (different universities, different social groups), I was warned by acquaintances that other people in my department perceived me as being unfriendly and stand-offish specifically because I didn't go to the big drinking parties that went on every week (and which made me desperately uncomfortable and miserable whenever I did try to attend); even at Clarion (where I did get along with absolutely everybody and made some really wonderful friendships), I had someone take me aside to say very firmly that I really needed to spend more time with the whole group at once, or else people would think badly of me and asssume I didn't want to be a good group member.

Anyway, not posting to vent too much...just to say, it meant a lot for me to read this entry, and I'm so glad that you wrote it.