Interesting. I can say that for me, interacting with you got a lot simpler once I started accepting that you were just nuts. Er. I say that with affection, of course.
I would say that I'm not sure this:
>I suspect that most shy folks have found themselves in this sort of situation at least once--a new friend or romantic partner, with all the qualities that you feel that you yourself lack, and yet who recognizes your specialness. At least until they get what they want from you, and leave you feeling foolish and worthless because you didn't see it coming.
Is really particular to introverts. That's just--bad choice and/or luck in picking other people; it happens to all kinds of folks. (Though I'll agree that there's some chicken-and-egg.)
I am--not sure, anymore, whether I think of myself as shy or as an introvert. I definitely used to, up until a very few years ago. And there was an element of self-protection to it. If I was shy, that explained the lack of close friends, and the lack of boyfriend, and the lack of social ease, and so on and so forth. It meant that there wasn't something wrong with me, or rather, that the something-wrong-with-me was simple and straightforward and (I knew from books) not _wrong_ so much as different in a way that most people didn't get but that (I knew from books) the right people would eventually, inevitably, get.
So that was fine.
But I think, based on the last few years, that I was maybe not so much shy as really, really insecure. And as that got/gets shored up, the social stress started sliding away and I start finding myself in odd positions where, for example, I have to start carving out solitary time for reasons other than because I'm burned out on other people.
It's very strange.
I don't mean, by any of this, of course, that there's anything wrong with people genuinely shy and/or introverted. Just...I'm discovering that it's not as simple as I used to think it was. I'm not sure what to call myself anymore.
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Date: 2007-07-09 10:27 pm (UTC)I would say that I'm not sure this:
>I suspect that most shy folks have found themselves in this sort of situation at least once--a new friend or romantic partner, with all the qualities that you feel that you yourself lack, and yet who recognizes your specialness. At least until they get what they want from you, and leave you feeling foolish and worthless because you didn't see it coming.
Is really particular to introverts. That's just--bad choice and/or luck in picking other people; it happens to all kinds of folks. (Though I'll agree that there's some chicken-and-egg.)
I am--not sure, anymore, whether I think of myself as shy or as an introvert. I definitely used to, up until a very few years ago. And there was an element of self-protection to it. If I was shy, that explained the lack of close friends, and the lack of boyfriend, and the lack of social ease, and so on and so forth. It meant that there wasn't something wrong with me, or rather, that the something-wrong-with-me was simple and straightforward and (I knew from books) not _wrong_ so much as different in a way that most people didn't get but that (I knew from books) the right people would eventually, inevitably, get.
So that was fine.
But I think, based on the last few years, that I was maybe not so much shy as really, really insecure. And as that got/gets shored up, the social stress started sliding away and I start finding myself in odd positions where, for example, I have to start carving out solitary time for reasons other than because I'm burned out on other people.
It's very strange.
I don't mean, by any of this, of course, that there's anything wrong with people genuinely shy and/or introverted. Just...I'm discovering that it's not as simple as I used to think it was. I'm not sure what to call myself anymore.