I'm a very similar personality type - INFJ - though the first time I was tested I was INFP, so I think the P/J thing is somewhat flexible for me.
I was painfully shy and bookwormish as a child in elementary school and felt extremely isolated. I was religious at that time, and often wished I was dead because then I would be with God and everything would be ok.
I was never shy singing in front of people, though, and fell in love with acting sometime about age 12 (about the same time I gave up on religion, though I don't know that the two things had anything to do with each other). Playing a part gave me a chance to be someone else besides my usual, awkward self. I had lines to read so I didn't have to try to worry about sounding like an idiot.
As I see it, INFP/J's are introverts who really need people and crave those deep friendships, not the superficial hanging out with random people that much social interaction involves. But I'm never going to make those sorts of friends by staying home all the time.
When I moved to Indianapolis 12 years ago to be with my husband (and best friend), I left behind a few very close friends. Sad to say, I haven't made any close friends since moving here. This is partially due to my nature and partially due to my crazy work schedule. Sure, I have people I am friendly with and can talk with about certain things, but besides my husband I don't have anyone locally I could call up on a whim and discuss the deep, dark things at the core of my being. Perhaps being an introvert means you expect too much of friends; I'm not sure.
I have been making more of an effort to go out into social situations lately because I would like to have close friends again, and I'm not getting any younger. I've gotten pretty good at going to a group thing and making conversation and so forth, but am baffled by how to get really close to another person.
So this was a long and rambling reply from a person you don't really know, but your post really resonated with a lot of my own feelings.
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Date: 2007-07-10 12:39 pm (UTC)I was painfully shy and bookwormish as a child in elementary school and felt extremely isolated. I was religious at that time, and often wished I was dead because then I would be with God and everything would be ok.
I was never shy singing in front of people, though, and fell in love with acting sometime about age 12 (about the same time I gave up on religion, though I don't know that the two things had anything to do with each other). Playing a part gave me a chance to be someone else besides my usual, awkward self. I had lines to read so I didn't have to try to worry about sounding like an idiot.
As I see it, INFP/J's are introverts who really need people and crave those deep friendships, not the superficial hanging out with random people that much social interaction involves. But I'm never going to make those sorts of friends by staying home all the time.
When I moved to Indianapolis 12 years ago to be with my husband (and best friend), I left behind a few very close friends. Sad to say, I haven't made any close friends since moving here. This is partially due to my nature and partially due to my crazy work schedule. Sure, I have people I am friendly with and can talk with about certain things, but besides my husband I don't have anyone locally I could call up on a whim and discuss the deep, dark things at the core of my being. Perhaps being an introvert means you expect too much of friends; I'm not sure.
I have been making more of an effort to go out into social situations lately because I would like to have close friends again, and I'm not getting any younger. I've gotten pretty good at going to a group thing and making conversation and so forth, but am baffled by how to get really close to another person.
So this was a long and rambling reply from a person you don't really know, but your post really resonated with a lot of my own feelings.