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[personal profile] snurri
It's time to put the basic units of the English language to the ultimate test. You know what that means:

DEATHMATCH!!!

That's right. The ultimate tournament of alphabetical supremacy! Only one will survive, and you, the public, will choose the victor. You bloodthirsty literates, you.

Why? You dare to ask WHY?!? Because language is blood, you Philistine. Ask the Picts. Or the Philistines. JUST DON'T CALL THEM DURING DINNER. (It's spaghetti night.)

OH THE CARNAGE.

Are you ready? Is your blood up? Are you prepared to have your vowels disemboweled and your consonants culled?

There will be no mercy. Your keyboard will never look the same.

In case you need to be reminded of the combatants, here is an instructional video from James Earl Jones:



Sobering, isn't it? Thank you, James. I think we all understand the stakes, now.

Get ready. Voting will be open for forty-eight hours OR WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE CLOSING IT. (NOTE: VOTING IS NOW CLOSED.) The top vote-getter will receive a round two "bye." In the event of a tie letters will be forced to sing "Blue Eyes Crying In the Rain" in a contest judged by the judge. The judge will choose judge the winner judge and judge judge next judge round. Judge.

WARNING: Participating in this event may cause all written and printed text to appear as gibberish for a period of between twenty minutes and forty-thousand years judge.



Now, the poll:

[Poll #1060388]



Tune in Wednesday for the gory results, and for the BLOODBATH that will be ROUND TWO judge.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megmccarron.livejournal.com
bitch you is crazy

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ninebelow.livejournal.com
In your face N!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rnb.livejournal.com
M is cheating.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
I?

[IS WINKING AT YOU ALL CREEPY]

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Ouch -- that one wasn't in the face!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
There are no rules, you know. ONLY SURVIVAL.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rnb.livejournal.com
M has a long history of cheating. Like Bill Belichick.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Fines will be assessed post-mortem.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tanaise.livejournal.com
What I find truly bizarre is that there are letters which are clearly better liked than others. I mean, *I* like Y better than B because it's both a consonant and a vowel, but why do others like it better?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
J vs. Q? Jesus, that's so unfair to both.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Perhaps because it stabs better. Like T.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
I wonder how many people's prefereces are being informed by Scrabble values?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] susansugarspun.livejournal.com
Because they're both AWESOME?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tanaise.livejournal.com
Well, I'll admit I also voted for Q because it's much more fun than whatever it was up against. But the T vs the G? do these people not drink?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Fair? FAIR? Was it "fair" when Z was dropped by the Romans and then added back in at the BACK OF THE ALPHABET? Was it fair when Charo's feud with Y sent the poor letter into bankruptcy? Was it fair when the poets decided "o'er" was more elegant than "over"?

Think about it.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tanaise.livejournal.com
Oddly enough, none of my choices were made based on stabability. Which is terribly surprising given how many people I would have stabbed today if I'd had the chance.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Instead you can enjoy a tournament of ultraviolent orthography!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
I had to vote for J! Obviously. But now I feel like such a cold-hearted b---h for having turned my back on Q like that.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
Okay, I see Q is winning now. I feel better.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] barthanderson.livejournal.com
Nah. Q only wins in tag-teams.

What is the letter we love?

Date: 2007-09-24 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheatland-press.livejournal.com
Wisten and Weep, Witch...


Re: What is the letter we love?

Date: 2007-09-24 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
I love that there's a manual.

Sadly, W is on the ropes as I type this . . .

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davidbeall.livejournal.com
I'm pretty sure that T is on steroids, and therefore I demand testing procedures.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-24 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Considering all the illegal holds G has been using, I think it all cancels out.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msbelle.livejournal.com
Oh my dear lord this made me laugh.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacithydra.livejournal.com
Weirdly enough, I felt exactly the same way. Poor Q.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacithydra.livejournal.com
Y! Y! Y!

What are you all thinking? What possible use could you have for B?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
Oh, gods, J is winning again. By two votes! Oh, the guilt, the unbearable guilt.

Re: What is the letter we love?

Date: 2007-09-25 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
I don't know why! Have you ever burped the alphabet? W is the most difficult and most satisfying letter by far.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 03:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacithydra.livejournal.com
Q was asking for it!

Re: What is the letter we love?

Date: 2007-09-25 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacithydra.livejournal.com
So it's like the Everest of burped letters?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
Bumblebees? Bebop? Botswana, Budapest, Bavaria, Barbados, Bali, Boise? Belchy burpy blueberry beer bubbles?

Re: What is the letter we love?

Date: 2007-09-25 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
Oh, yeah. You get over that hump, it's pretty much all downhill.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haddayr.livejournal.com
We have rented Sesame Street Old School and we just saw this in context. It was teH awesome.

Jackie Robinson did one, too. Maybe he counted! I think he counted.

I am very tired, but obviously X will kill everyone

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Mission accomplished then, m'dear. :-)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 04:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
I dunno. S is making a very strong showing.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hecubot.livejournal.com
X Uber Alles!

I don't know what's up with the Q faction.

It's useless without U!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacithydra.livejournal.com
Feh. Tell me why Z is beating A, then! A is part of two of our major particles of speech - 'a' and 'an'... and 'and', for that matter. Without that letter our sentences would sound really funny - and yet there's Z, in the lead!

This isn't about reason, it's about glory!

Although bumblebees are cool. But so are yaks!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacithydra.livejournal.com
I know. So co-dependent.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
Zamboni.

I rest my case.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 01:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacithydra.livejournal.com
I must concede the point on A v. Z. Nothing can stand against zamboni might.

But as to B v. Y? What about the mens? Without 'Y' there would be no genes for them. Just a buncha women running around with a bunch of Xs.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snurri.livejournal.com
Should have bracketed them against each other.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-25 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamiam.livejournal.com
Hey, I voted for Y! I'm just pointing out that potentially there could be a case for B.

And let's not even talk about X vs. Y. Hopefully it won't come down to that! Oh, no.

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