That's Me In the Corner . . .

[snurri]

I went to a bad reading* and started a little rant about the differences between bad "literary" fiction and bad fiction from other genres. But this morning I decided I didn't care very much. There are many different ways to write badly. You could probably invent one if you tried hard enough. Not that I'm encouraging such behavior.

I have to admit, though--is it just me? Do any of the other writers reading this ever, after an experience like a bad reading or a bad book, think "And yet the same industry which publishes my work published theirs," and start worrying that perhaps you suck just as much as they** do?

Just me?

Never mind; I'll be over here, clutching at my neuroses.

*Note to self: avoid readings when you know nothing about the folks reading. Readings in general are not an easy-escape sort of activity.

**That's the general, faceless, untalented "they."

Comments

[ajjones.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just my outlandishly inflated ego, but I never worry that I suck as much as they do. I get stymied and wonder what the hell they're doing on the shelf and why I'm not an omnipotent god of fiction as I rightly should be.

Course you can look at it two ways...that steaming shit tends to sell big, so what's the point? 'They' don't want GOOD fiction anyway. Or you can look at it the other way...I'm so much better than this pile of toilet trash, I'm now motivated to kick its ass.

The second is really the only choice, unless you want to quit writing and go insane, seething inwardly as you make up your newspaper bed after bathing in a puddle on the side of the road.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

In general I'm not prone to self-doubt when it comes to writing, as it's about the only thing I know for certain I'm pretty good at. But sometimes, when confronted with this sort of thing, I do have moments of "OMG everyone is lying to me for motives beyond my understand and my book sucks!"

You're right, of course. Kicking the ass of crap is the only sensible response.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

I had my phone ring once at a reading at clarion (it rings so rarely, I never turn it off even when I probably should), so I had to slip out and take the call, and I had Tim Powers tell me later that he was jealous of my ability to escape. :) I feel very strongly that cellphones should have a panic button on them so you can use them to escape when necessary. There are so many many places where it would be useful if you could pull your phone from your pocket, frown/look confused and say, "I'm really sorry, I've got to take this--I'll be right back." and then DISAPPEAR FOREVER.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

That would have been good, too. Although I had my backpack of doom with me, packed with laptop and papers and books (damn you and your big lovely bulk, Against the Day!) and my sweatshirt and jacket . . . it would have been a big production to walk out no matter what.

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

Mostly, I just assume that I suck at least as much if not more, and for some inexplicable reason, they publish me anyway.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Um, no. I know we all have our off days, but even on your suckiest day of suck you couldn't have held a candle to the suckage of these people. Trust me.

[tim-pratt.livejournal.com]

I often think individual pieces of my work suck, but I don't think my work sucks as a whole.

Some people think my stuff sucks, and some people think my stuff is great, and often they're talking about the same piece of writing, so I've just decided that nobody knows anything, and one person's suck is a another person's awesome. As long as I'm having fun and feeling sufficiently challenged, I try not to worry about it.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

A healthy attitude. I guess my thing was that the stuff I was hearing last night was so bad that it seemed to debase the very currency of writing.

[douglain.livejournal.com]

Having put together a few readings that included material I thought wasn't absolutely top notch I certainly understand how these things can bring on self-doubt.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Well, sure, a reading of your own that doesn't go well is tough . . . but have you ever come out of someone else's reading feeling like the act of fiction itself had been devalued?

[scarypudding.livejournal.com]

Mostly I know I don't suck, but reading stuff that does, does make me wonder sometimes whether not sucking really means anything.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much exactly what I was trying to say, only better.

[bondgwendabond.livejournal.com]

I usually find myself wondering why so many people like crap? :)

[snurri.livejournal.com]

That, too. Enough to publish it, even.

[jamiam.livejournal.com]

It was definitely the writing itself that sucked? Because I've noticed that a good reader can make mediocre prose into a pretty decent story... and a bad reader can make a decent story into CRAP.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Oh, it was bad writing. One of the readers wasn't actually bad, but the stuff that was read was like traffic jams with words.

[justinelavaworm.livejournal.com]

Ahmen to that! After a particularly fabulous reading I went out and bought this really expensive hardcover and it SUCKED. Beyond words it SUCKED. Yet when this reader had read from it the angels in heaven had sung, the skies had rained down golden petals . . .

Also I decided I would never read a certain writer because their reading was so bad I contemplated puncturing my own eardrums with knitting needles. In desperatation (I'd run out of reading material) I wound up reading one of their books and it was fabulous.

So what you said.

[johnaegard.livejournal.com]

Do any of the other writers reading this ever, after an experience like a bad reading or a bad book, think "And yet the same industry which publishes my work published theirs," and start worrying that perhaps you suck just as much as they** do?

Yeah, definitely. But I think that feeling is common to every artistic field. You should hear my musician friends go on about American Idol.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's exactly it. It's like the crap isn't content with just sucking, it actually leaks its suck onto the entire endeavor.

[czakbar.livejournal.com]

When I hear or read what I think of as bad writing, and as you say it's being published by the same industry that's publishing me, I mostly feel confused. Before I get too immersed in worrying whether or not I suck as well, I shrug and tell myself that there are all sorts of different people out there, and they all like reading different things, whether I like it or not, and hope that my own standards for writing would, at the very least, make people who aren't inclined to like my sort of writing think, well it's not up my alley, but I've heard worse. I know what you're talking about, though. I try not to give it much of my energy, though, 'cause I feel like it can't go anywhere productive for me. It'll just feed into neuroses, and those don't do anyone much good, so I try to starve 'em as much as possible. :-)

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Heh. My neuroses are nothing if not well fed.

And yeah, I should probably be more charitable. It was just an unpleasant evening, with no means of escape.

[johnaegard.livejournal.com]

It was just an unpleasant evening, with no means of escape.

This feeling actually keeps me away from science fiction cons. The SF field is a small one, and it's easy to get trapped in a web of obligations that puts me at an awful reading.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

True. This is one reason I like WisCon, which has so much programming going on at the same time that you'll inevitably miss some things, and can carefully choose which ones :-)

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Nope. Never worried about that.

I'm too busy thinking everything I write sucks to think that I am a sucky writer.

Odd, but true: I believe I am a good writer but hate everything I write.

And you think you're neurotic! Amateur.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Not odd! A critical distinction, the lack of which I think is behind a lot of people who argue with rejections.

[little-octagon.livejournal.com]

Yes - it makes me feel ooky. And my "industry" is worse because it's poetry. EVERYONE hates poetry.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I don't think EVERYONE hates poetry . . . but a lot of people don't know how to read or hear it. (Including myself, at least part of the time.) I would think, yeah, it'd be a challenge. Unless maybe you were a slam poet, which would give you sort of a built-in forum . . .