Like the Soldiers Say

[snurri]

HELPFUL NOTE: If you insist upon greeting me with "Keeping out of trouble?" every time you see me, be warned that this is a question of such banality that I cannot be bothered to muster a civil response.

The same goes for "How's it hanging?"

Comments

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I think the only answer to, "Keeping out of trouble?" is, "No."

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've tried that, but after a while it starts to feel like you're playing the game. Like, "Ha ha aren't we the funny vaudeville-type duo."

CLEARLY THINGS ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES TODAY.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

If you glare at them with sufficient hatred, that might help. Sufficient hatred is often the answer.

But then, I shouldn't really act like I'm good at this. When my godfather said to me, "I'm so glad we got you married early and out of trouble," I just stared at him, speechless.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but then I'll be "The scary temp." As in, "Can we get someone else in here to replace the scary temp?"

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh. People who give you money. Right.

They suck. Except for the giving you money part.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

The money is what makes this minimal human interaction worthwhile.

[ajjones.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've tried that, but after a while it starts to feel like you're playing the game. Like, "Ha ha aren't we the funny vaudeville-type duo."

Hahahahahahahahah You slay me. And I feel better now about my constant stream of snarkalicious internal dialogue when faced with live humans.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

This is one reason I almost always have my nose in a book when I'm alone in public. The last thing I want to do is TALK to those people.

[ajjones.livejournal.com]

Back in the corporate job, 'Are we having fun yet?' used to send my butt twitching.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Ugh. God, nothing says, "You are a contemptible piece of human garbage not worth my time and interest" like these canned lines.

[rsheslin.livejournal.com]

Many years ago (while I was still in college), one time I was in a bad mood, I wore my "friendly button" when I went grocery shopping.

Sure enough, some "Aren't I Being Awesome" jerk started coming onto me and flirtatiously said, "Can I read your button?"

In very small print, the button read: "Oh, shit -- you're going to speak to me, aren't you?"

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Is it possible that you and I are different species?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

Remember when we were at Nina's and you started talking to that woman at the table next to us about what grade she taught, where, etc.? Definite alien moment, for me :-)

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Here's the part where I confess I was wanting to start a conversation with her the whole time but I held back as long as I could because I thought it would irritate you.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I wasn't irritated! Honest, I wasn't. I was a detached anthropological observer witnessing the strange interactions of extroverts.