A Man Makes Fun Of Things That Are Stupid

[snurri]

You really ought to read this essay by Esquire columnist Tom Chiarella about men. Not because it's good or I agree with it or endorse it or anything of the sort. Because it is jaw-droppingly stupid. An excerpt:

A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him--woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things--a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds--engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.

Somehow every time I look at that it turns into this:

A moron writes words. A moron flails about for telling details--declarations, clichés, sentence fragments. A moron owns a frying pan. A moron has an extensive collection of pornography. A moron makes assumptions--about gender roles, about sexuality, about class. Or he fantasizes--about sports cars, Rolexes, cash. He prefers the company of men, but not in a gay way, REALLY. Irony escapes him. A moron pretends that women have no interest in the martial arts because the thought that they might hit him is scary. A moron is not good with words. Not words, not ideas, not talking about men. He is paid by the word. Two-fifty. It doesn't matter what words he puts down, because those who do not agree with what he says are not men.

I could go on--there is much more--but it parodies itself.

Comments

[jamiam.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, I saw that this morning. I decided the only way I could cope was to give into the societal pressure and do my very best to be that man, and try not to feel too insecure (because a real man owns the flaws society imposes on him) about the fact that I can't possibly live up to such a perfect, manly vision of manhood.

though I am vastly relieved to hear that my dread of the dance floor, with its hordes of hot women and the constant risk of actual touching is completely in line with the modern paradigm of masculinity.

[tacithydra.livejournal.com]

What is this, Both of You Linking Trainwrecks So Bad They May Be Parodies Week?

[snurri.livejournal.com]

You mean that guy who couldn't pronounce "vaginal"? A man wants to slam that guy's head into a brick wall.

[jamiam.livejournal.com]

I love you, man.

[snurri.livejournal.com]

I went ahead and beat myself up and spent last night in the hospital, trying to reconcile myself with the expectations of my gender.