Speaking Banal
Jul. 16th, 2009 11:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snurriHere are some helpful translations for everyday, seemingly empty phrases.
Workin' hard or hardly working?
TRANSLATION: It takes a superhuman effort for me to resist blurting out the incriminating details of my fatal hit-and-run last night.
How about them [insert local sports team here]?
TRANSLATION: Sometimes, when I am alone, I like to order pizza and answer the door wearing nothing but an athletic supporter.
Hot enough for you?
TRANSLATION: Are you the heir to Albion? Only give the fated answer and I will a) pledge fealty to you b) kill you with my concealed claymore OR c) perform a joyful dance in the style of Isadora Duncan.
How's it hangin'?
TRANSLATION: What is the state of your genitalia? Have you noticed any rashes or experienced pain during urination? Please consult a physician if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours.
Got a hot date?
TRANSLATION: Sometimes, lying in bed at night, I can feel myself fading away under the weight of universal indifference. Can I please have a hug?
Keepin' out of trouble?
TRANSLATION: I could use your advice on a delicate matter involving a stolen Chevy Caprice, a drunken monkey, and a freight container full of illegally obtained exotic birds.
Are we having fun yet?
TRANSLATION: I am the dullest person alive, and I ask this question in earnest because I would not know fun if it slithered up to me in a rhinestone-encrusted negligee and started to bite off my toes.
What the hell is your problem?
TRANSLATION: Could mean anything. Best to just point and laugh.
Workin' hard or hardly working?
TRANSLATION: It takes a superhuman effort for me to resist blurting out the incriminating details of my fatal hit-and-run last night.
How about them [insert local sports team here]?
TRANSLATION: Sometimes, when I am alone, I like to order pizza and answer the door wearing nothing but an athletic supporter.
Hot enough for you?
TRANSLATION: Are you the heir to Albion? Only give the fated answer and I will a) pledge fealty to you b) kill you with my concealed claymore OR c) perform a joyful dance in the style of Isadora Duncan.
How's it hangin'?
TRANSLATION: What is the state of your genitalia? Have you noticed any rashes or experienced pain during urination? Please consult a physician if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours.
Got a hot date?
TRANSLATION: Sometimes, lying in bed at night, I can feel myself fading away under the weight of universal indifference. Can I please have a hug?
Keepin' out of trouble?
TRANSLATION: I could use your advice on a delicate matter involving a stolen Chevy Caprice, a drunken monkey, and a freight container full of illegally obtained exotic birds.
Are we having fun yet?
TRANSLATION: I am the dullest person alive, and I ask this question in earnest because I would not know fun if it slithered up to me in a rhinestone-encrusted negligee and started to bite off my toes.
What the hell is your problem?
TRANSLATION: Could mean anything. Best to just point and laugh.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-16 06:02 pm (UTC)(TRANSLATION: I wish to kill you before the sun rises.)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-16 06:35 pm (UTC)TRANSLATION: Dead by dawn! Dead by dawn!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-16 07:36 pm (UTC)